Fertile Enough for Love

If I knew a love as great as this was coming, I would never have settled. I would love to say that I am a girl who has always known her worth and never took off her crown but that would be smoke and mirrors. I have to catch myself when I am tempted to tangle myself in regret or loose my senses in the possibility of a forever love. There is also that task of keeping myself open to the possibility of it, I think if I'm honest it is more like not letting the fear that it will not happen keep me from trying. I have a robust understanding of why self-love is said to be a revolutionary act and being loved gives you courage. 

Love is blooming in ways I would have never imagined because I am now fertile enough to allow it, I want it. I am learning to nurture it and patiently let it grow. A true love forces you to nurture yourself. It demands that you see yourself the way it sees you. Some people need a haphazard, rollercoaster kind of love. 

The love that has grown beside me is peaceful and diligent. You see, he gets up every morning and goes to work, sends a message midday and comes home in the evening. This is the kind of love that shows up humbly at your front down with its hat in its hand placed gently over its heart.

 My son anticipates his arrival like the tetris piece that completes the row. 

There are days when the act of blending a family and learning to let love grow feel a long way away but in the quite moments his dedication is undeniable. Everyday he chooses us and everyday we bask in his light.